the waiting place...

There are so many things that God promises to us, yet asks us to wait for. As a child in Christ, it is SO hard to do this sometimes! It is so much easier to make things happen on my own and get the ball rolling on things that I think should happen. Don't get me wrong...we can't simply wait around all our lives for God to bless us, yet not fulfill our part in doing the work he has called us to do in the mean times. My dearly loved pastor from Kansas City, Dr. Charles Geoffrey Adams, said, "God cannot steer a parked car". How true! In order for God to direct you through life you have to be moving! Dr. Adams would go on to say, "If you don't know what He wants you to do, keep doing the last that He asked of you. Be faithful in that which He has already called you to."

Two weeks ago...God asked two things of me. He asked me to GO (Jos, Nigeria, October 21st) and He asked me to WAIT (waiting for Him to provide the needed funds).

The going is the easy part. I love to travel, to get outside my comfort zone and learn other cultures, to serve people, to be challenged daily to become a better person. The waiting, however, is the hardest thing for me to do. I believe that this is one of the biggest reasons He has asked it of me. See, my heavenly Father KNOWS that I enjoy my independence, logical reasoning and problem solving, and that when I get an idea I just want to jump in with both feet and get going. Knowing such, He has called me to something that I cannot possibly accomplish on my own. Something SO BIG and extravagant that only He, through his provision and daily miracles, can achieve.

I have done the best I can in getting the information out there about the trip and two days into it, a woman that I had only just met while in Mexico, was the first to give. This was only one of the many little confirmations that God was still calling and that He promised to provide.

So now I wait.........

The trip coordinator is speaking with the travel agent this coming week and once the plane tickets are found, we only have 2-3 days to pay for them through the agent in order to guarantee that we get the best deal and are good stewards of the support we raise. The plane ticket is the majority of the cost and the remaining trip fees will be due August 22nd. There are also quite a few vaccinations (over $600 worth) that I have to get before going, most of which my insurance doesn't cover and will have to be out of pocket. As time races towards these deadlines...I struggle....I doubt...I WORRY.

I know deep down, that God always fulfills His promises. This is evidenced time and time again both in scripture, in testimonies of other's lives, and in my own experiences as a child of God. While in Mexico, numerous times in talking with the staff of Back2Back, he reinforced his provision and care in every painstaking detail. See, these staff members aren't paid through Back2Back. They don't receive any sort of compensation for picking up their lives and their families and relocating to a foreign environment. They have to raise their living and travel expenses every year. They were gracious enough to share their experiences in how God provided in some quite miraculous ways. One told me how God had moved a business associate to come to him and offer $30,000 out of the blue. God is into details!

So as I struggle through this waiting period, I remember the words to another song that speaks so clearly the words I wouldn't know how to express:

I will wait for You there
Down on my knees where I met You
Give You all of my cares
Find a Grace to hold onto now
I'm calling for You
I will wait for You there
far from the world and it's violence
It left me broken and bare
I need to hear You in the silence now
I'm calling for You
And with outstretched arms
I will sing out melodies
And my beating heart
Will pour out a symphony
Hallelujah's in the morning
Hallelujah's in the night
I will wait for you as long as I have life
I will wait for You there
Down On my knees where I met you
Cause life is a war fought with tears
But You are the strength I hold onto now
I'm calling for you.
(Phil Wickham)

PS> As I finish writing this, I notice a message in my inbox... another dear friend that I met in Mexico has left the second donation!

Thank you Lord for knowing and hearing the heart of a child who wants to follow your leading! Thank you for the plans you have in place that I don't know about yet. Thank you for the provision you have pre-arranged. Keep me close and keep me faithful.